Counseling is one of the professions that require a great deal of skill in order to provide adequate services. Many individuals interested in becoming counselors often focus on the skills they need to be effective with clients—one of the essential skills that a counselor needs is listening attentively. Counselors must be able to listen to their clients and understand what they are saying. Empathy is an essential skill that the counselor has to have in order to be effective.
Similarly, the counselor has to reflect and paraphrase the client’s thoughts and feelings in an understandable way (Lundh, 2019). Lastly, the counselor needs to be able to provide support and guidance throughout the process. In this paper, I play the role of a therapist while my friend Sammy plays the role of a client, aiming to practice counseling skills and discover the challenges involved.
Acting as a counselor and my friend as a counselor, we practiced using the four counseling skills: listening, paraphrasing, empathic statements, and summarizing. After inviting Sammy for counseling, he started explaining how his high school had a deviant peer group that used drugs. This group was very destructive to his life. While they were in the same peer group, there were students like Sammy who had no bad intentions but wanted to hang out with this group of people. When Sammy was in high school, he was very frustrated as he wanted to get away from them but did not know how because these people were very persuasive and persuasive. Later he gave up and joined the group. He has been smoking marijuana since high school till today (Pettersen et al., 2019). Sammy says, ” The reason I am smoking marijuana is that it gives me a feeling of relaxation and peace of mind. It just feels like a stress reliever after having a long day. Also, I always tried to smoke marijuana alone because if my parents found out I smoked weed, they would give me the worst scolding ever.” Sammy explains that smoking affects his social life in that, after smoking, he finds it hard to focus on anything that could be a group discussion topic. He used to feel as if the entire world was collapsing around him. Also, his concentration skills are not good anymore, and he feels he could never be productive again. He feels like this because, after smoking marijuana, some of his thoughts are scattered. He explains that marijuana is affecting his relationship with God as well. He explains that the problems with the peer group are affecting his relationship with his parents. When he came home and saw that his parents were not happy to see him, he felt guilty about himself. He felt sorry for not being able to stay away from their peer group and for smoking marijuana.
One psychology code of conduct I applied is integrity. As I listen to Sammy and act as a counselor, I always try my best to be on his side. Before paraphrasing, I have to ensure that he feels he has heard and understood. Also, as a counselor, I must always be genuine and honest when responding to Sammy. Another code of ethics I used was honesty. I started to Sammy that “It sounds like you are lacking self-esteem because you smoke marijuana so often (Code and Psychologists, 2017). I do not like smoking weed because it happens to be a drug I am against, and my parents did not raise me to do drugs.” I felt responsible for helping Sammy with his drug use. I used the “4 CCSs (Counseling skills)” as guidance on how to help Sammy with his drug use.
First, I listened to Sammy’s story. I tried to comprehend the issue behind the problem and the reasons for it. In doing so, I ensured that he knew he was being heard and made him feel important. By listening, I assured him that his opinion matters and that I would consider his opinion. I asked the why and the how questions to ensure I understood the situation better. Similarly, When Sammy was done explaining his issue, I paraphrased what he said to make sure that I understood him correctly and got everything. Empathic statements: Sammy was very frustrated while talking about his issue to me. So, while he was talking, I used empathic statements to acknowledge how hard it could be for someone to go through what he is going through now. Sammy feels that other people do not understand what he is going through after losing his friends in high school and joining a lousy peer group (Passmore, 2020). As his friend, I tried to put myself in Sammy’s shoes. I tried to understand how he felt to empathize with him and help him understand that this is a path nobody wants to go through. I summarized the main points that Sammy discussed to ensure I understood him correctly. Then I asked questions to clarify any points that could be confusing. I used the four counseling skills mentioned above to help my friend Sammy understand what he is going through and how he can help himself get out of this situation.
After assessing Sammy’s case, I provided him with information about addiction and its causes. This was because Sammy was blaming himself for being addicted to marijuana, and I wanted to show him that he was not the only one who had gone through this. After providing information about the reasons behind his addiction, I explained how he could help himself and get out of this situation using essential cognitive-behavioral therapy. First, Sammy needed to identify and understand the feelings that he was experiencing because these feelings were a result of his addiction. I explained that the main problem with his substance use is that it takes away his anxiety or panic attacks. Also, the main reason why he needs to get rid of this addiction is that it impacts his life socially, academically, and emotionally. Second, I explained how Sammy could help himself out of this and become free from marijuana by changing his thinking, leading to a better and healthier lifestyle. Lastly, I explained that it is not just about what he can do but also what I can do. I explained that I would be here for him as a friend and counselor and help him get out of this problem. After talking to my friend Sammy about his issues, he felt lighter and happier. He was relieved after talking with me. He was still worried about how he would get out of this problem, but knowing that someone was here for him and wanted to help gave him much hope.
Some of the challenges I experienced when helping out Sammy was that he had difficulty opening up about his problem. According to the literature, a significant barrier to effective counseling is that clients are frequently reluctant to disclose their issues and difficulties. According to Ghori (2002), clients tend not to disclose information about their problems due to various cognitive and social processes, such as low self-esteem and shame. Since clients tend not to disclose information, they will make up stories to reach their goals, which can contradict their intentions. In this case, Sammy was not being 100% honest about his problem because he was afraid of how I would perceive him, which is why he told me that he was smoking weed to relieve stress. I tried to coach him on telling the truth with courage and without rehearsing what he said to me or thinking about how it could affect him badly.
One key point I will remember from this experience is that, when helping out a friend with his problem, it is essential to be empathetic and to understand all the time. As someone who wants to help your friend, you should always listen and not judge him/her because this will make it easier for them to trust you and tell you things that are bothering them. If they feel uncomfortable talking with you the way they want, they will never understand how they can get out of their situation. Another thing is that a counselor needs to have the courage and patience to understand their clients’ problems fully. In addition, a counselor needs to have good listening skills to hear every tiny detail of their client’s stories.
